vice-dean cheney

After a long day of orientation, I am poopered. In the end, I didn't do much. Didn't do anything really. Just sat around and listened.

The Vice-Dean of the Journalism School spoke at length. He was grave and entertaining. "Think of me as a friendly Dick Cheney," he said.

He told us about the mountain-load of work we can expect (Journalism School "will eat your life."); gave us tips on how to graciously excuse ourselves from parties ("It's midnight and my study group is waiting for me and they'll kill me if I don't show up."); warned us against drink, excess, and relationships ("Try to abstain from whatever you've normally been putting into your bodies.").

He made us giggle when he made fun of the business students who, like us aspiring journalists, are also on campus earlier than the rest of the students. "If you want to take a break and see great theater, go watch them outside. They're here for math camp. You can tell they're business students because they're all dressed up and carrying the same bag. They're doing bonding exercises, like throw water balloons at each other from ever increasing distances, to break down their high self-esteem so they can be taught something."

He made us pause when he introduced the next speaker then said (when we were about to give him applause), "Before you do it, get out of the habit of applauding the administration. We don't want our journalism students too respectful of people in authority."

He gave us hope when he assured us that everyone else is also terrified, but that we will also form close and lasting friendships. "It's ten months of hard work. So magic happens."